Thursday, March 31, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Paul Shall Fall. Oh Yes. Fall Paul Shall.

Kids, The Fall of Paul is gearing up to smack you across the face with more funny than a barrel full of tuna.

Don't look at me like that. You try coming up with witty comparisons at 11:41PM.

This morning I had a threeway with James (Paul) and Joe (the writer and creator). CALL. A three way CALL. CALL. You people are sick. And you kiss your mother with that mind?

So, we're making a new Fall of Paul episode. Filming in April. IN LAS VEGAS.

Actually, I'm not sure we're actually going to be filming anything. I think it is pretty much just an excuse to hang out. In Vegas. "For our art" and junk.

Right now, the plan of me and those two boys bunked up in a hotel on the Strip with a camera. Something about illegal fireworks and an Indian reservation. At which point, I ceased asking any more questions about any sort of "plan" and just began nodding my head so vigorously I sustained a traumatic brain injury.

I guess the real reason behind this post is that I'm going to need someone I can call for bail money. And I think you'll do. Please stand by.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Last night, Adam-Adam gave me a call. He asked me how I was. I said I was fine, how was he. He said he was fine. And then we sat there in silence on the phone for a moment, the brake lights of the 5 freeway glaring at me as I crawled along at 10 mph. And then Adam-Adam said, "Actually, I've got *insert crazy bullshit* going on." And I laughed and said, "Wait, I've got *insert ridiculous mind fuck*." And we laughed and laughed at all of the dumb crap that makes you think you're a failure and makes you want to punch someone in the nose and makes you wonder why you sit in brake lights or why you ever left. Everything turned into catastrophic hyperbole and suddenly, it was better. All because the conversation didn't stop at "I'm fine".

Monday, March 14, 2011

What came in the mail today...


What came in the mail today..., originally uploaded by eyduck.

It is officially official and I've got the gold seals to prove it. I was interviewed last week for a press release which should be hitting soon. Today, the certificates and the foil seals came. They're so shiny...

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!

Catch me tonight at 7:00PM in the Original Room of The Comedy Store. Yah, THAT Comedy Store. Crazy, right? Tickets are $10 + 2 drink minimum. But just think, now you don't have to drink alone AND it's cheaper than going to the movies and ordering a large popcorn. Support live performance! And me! I mean. Live... performance...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

3/11/11 Celebrity Improv Mashup & Murder by Acme


3/11/11 - Jade Harlow and Eric Martsolf in Celebrity Improv Mashup
Well, if you didn't get enough murder and scandal last week, you are in for a treat THIS week, folks! I'm back this Friday in Celebrity Improv Mashup at the Acme Comedy Theater.

And who are our mystery guests? None other than Acme darlings Jade Harlow and Eric Martsolf!

Now, you probably remember Eric Martsolf from Hollywood Dream Role last year when he sung and danced his way into everyone's hearts with his imaginary best friend Shaniqua, the nunchuck skunk hat wearing love of his life. And if you don't remember that, you are living a half life and need to go watch the YouTube video immediately. I believe there is some sort of law that one single person is not supposed to be allowed to hold a trifecta of talentness,gorgeousness, AND niceness, but Eric Martsolf is so frickin' cool, we've decided not to report him and will, instead, just bask in the glory of his awesomeness.

Eric is back and this time to save Little Valley from the machinations of evil in the improvised soap opera Scandal!

On the Hollywood Dream Role side of things, Jade Harlow is on our team! Seriously folks, she is so frickin' sweet, you want to just put her in your pocket. I'm pretty sure she gets around Los Angeles riding a unicorn and pays for things with leprachan gold and pixie dust. She will be bringing to life the role that made her want to get into acting in the first place. All I can say is that it involves pea soup and levitating beds. And no, that is not a metaphor for a normal Friday night on the Sunset strip.

The third part of the show is the mash up, and this is what makes life so cool sometimes. Jade and Eric were on Passions together. In fact, Eric played Jade's older brother. But they never actually appeared on screen together. UNTIL NOW! We've got soap opera history in the making folks! BROTHER AND SISTER UNITED AT LAST!

Because that's what we do at the Acme, folks. We bring imaginary families together. God bless America.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Celebrity Improv Mashup with Sean Kanan, Casey Deidrick & Chandler Massey/Murder by Acme

It's a two-for-one of fun tonight! Three soap stars, two shows, one murder.

First up at 9:00PM, it's Celebrity Improv Mashup! I'll be part of the core ensemble for the month of March, so catch me every Friday. How did you get to be so lucky?

Today is a triple play with Sean Kanan, Casey Deidrick & Chandler Massey. If you're Young and Restless, shouldn't you be spending this particular Day of Your Life with these hunk-a-hunks of burning comedy? Watch out! Someone's gonna lose a shirt!

And as we creep towards the witching hour, how about a little mystery to spice up your 11:00PM? It's MURDER! MURDER BY ACME! Leave your weapons at the door. We'll have plenty to go around.

Check out all of the ridiculousness at www.acmecomedy.com

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Woodcutter - Garcia Award for the Best Fiction Book of the Year & 1st Place Fantasy Book in the Reader Views Literary Awards Winners

I opened up my email today and was kind of stunned.


The Woodcutter was named by the Reader Views Literary Awards as their 1st Place Fantasy Book.

So, that was super cool.

But then there was a second email.

The judges decided to honor The Woodcutter with the Garcia Award for the Best Fiction Book of the Year.

I didn't quite get the enormity of it until I read the fine print - the winner was chosen from all first place winners in all the fiction categories.

My little book.

The Woodcutter.

It took me a year to write The Woodcutter and four years to finally get it published. Every six months during that time was a new rejection letter, someone else telling me that, based upon my synopsis, my book wasn't good enough. It wasn't "right". It didn't "fit". In fact, just this week I got word that my book hadn't made it past the 1st round of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards, which is based not upon your book, but upon the quality of a 1,000 word pitch, the irony being that if I was good at pitching, I probably wouldn't be self-published.

And then came the Reader Views awards and my book was evaluated upon its own merits. It had to stand on its own legs, no bells or pony shows allowed. The judges sat down and they actually read my book.

And when they did, the affirmed something that I have known since the first day I wrote a scene about a monster in my Anatomy 101 notebook, something I knew as I fell in love with a hero big enough to fight not just the monster on the page but the monsters who were making me want to run away from my life and the monsters sucking my spirit. They fell in love with the Woodcutter just as I did with every word my fingers found.

I am honored and touched and moved and... And it just means so much.

Woodcutter in the Wild I love my friends. The Woodcutter in the wild Woodcutter! Caught reading Woodcutter in the Wild That would be me at #14 and Neil Gaiman at #20 The Woodcutter Hits the Acme Awards The Woodcutter in the Wild - King James C Version